Metacognition: Reading Jane Eyre

Nineteenth century social conventions amuse me, until I realize the cage they put you in.
The characters in Jane Eyre and the ideals they hold others to fascinated me throughout the book, and I personally found the detail with which Jane describes her thought processes more helpful than any history book could provide. I really love learning about the culture and societal norms during any one era, and this novel gave a likable heroine a chance to tell her tale and speak out against the ridiculous restrictions placed on women during her time.
At first, I was simply entertained by the strange (to me) laws that allowed one thing to be blatantly acknowledged while another unspeakable. I couldn't understand how people spoke of Jane's plainness as if it were a reassuring quality. I blew off the signs that Jane was sending about women's rights, taking for granted that jobs are open to me, that I can be an equal with men, that I can be respected for traits other than docile femininity. I just took it as part of the experience of the 19th century before I realized how much it bothered me.
I first became aware of how outrageous these social restrictions are when I noticed the obvious tension between Jane's self-respect and honor, and her desire to submit and do what her 'master' wants. Obviously in any relationship there is compromise, but Jane seemed honestly tormented, as if staying true to herself was a guilty pleasure she almost couldn't dare to do. True, her situation was an unusual case, what with social convention saying she couldn't commit adultery and social convention also saying being adamant and unrelenting was being 'ornery and unfeminine'. Regardless, it made it very clear to me what an impossible situation women were put in.
Next time I read a book and notice this topic, I'm going to try to be very attentive to it and focus on every aspect it affects. I think noticing the culture and how it impacts the characters and the plot would deepen my experience and make everything more connected and cohesive.

360 Degrees: How do we prevent Regret?

We are presented with choices and big decisions everyday. These can be as varied as what to eat for breakfast to having kids. The importance of making the right choice is becoming especially prominent as we are finishing up our sophomore year and the college race fast approaches. Earlier this week, I went to College Night and was overwhelmed with the clamoring for booth attendants' attention, by the kids with prepared questions and their top 10 most intriguing schools at the conference picked out from the list. How did these people already have an idea what schools made the first cut? What factors did they already know would make a difference in their decision?

It was hard to absorb everything happening around me without having done much prep beforehand, but the experience led me to another problem- how would I end up making my decision even after all the research? If all these colleges had the potential and opportunities they claimed, how could I possibly choose just one? How would I know I made the right choice when I never got the chance to experience the effects of any one college? Obviously, there are times you can visit campuses and look at what classes they're known for, but how will going to one college over another affect you in the longterm? How will I avoid feelings that I might have made a great choice, but not the best choice?

This got me thinking about regret. Thoughts of what could have been and what might have happened if... can easily haunt us, if we let them. If it weren't for all the extra work and the amount of time, I'm sure some people would go to college at 3 or 4 different places, just to see how that would affect their choices later and give them a more impressive group of college alums to connect with (the method of going for your doctorate at a different school than your undergrad suddenly makes a lot more sense). But what good does wasting time with what ifs do?

I'm trying to understand and respect the power of making good choices. It's a delicate balance. Considering what you want long-term, what you're interested in, and what you want now is a tricky blend to juggle. Ultimately, you have to find the best mix of opportunities and whats best for you and just go for it. Regret will come if your doing something that's 'smart' but you don't love, or if you're doing something you enjoy but are limited by.

In the end, with college anyway, I think it's important for someone to make a choice and not wallow in ifs later. If you look at the opportunities presented somewhere, you're bound to find something your choice offers that puts you ahead in some way. Your small college might have an alum who is CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Your Ivy-league school might have an incredible number of clubs that teach you leadership you can use in the future. Regret will generally hide in the corner until you let it in. But I'm going to choose not to encourage it.

This goes for other choices in life too. I'm going to work on the process of weighing my options and looking thoroughly at what appeals to me and what my gut tells me I wouldn't like before making a decision. If I save impulse for fun decisions and reserve careful research for more serious long-term impact, I'll have a balance that will allow me to live and enjoy the environment I choose.

An Inconvenient Truth: Superficiality

The week during break, my family went to visit some friends in South Carolina. The experience of meeting people who live so differently from me and seeing the diversity of America was fun, but I was struck by how people judge each other in an instant for so many trivial reasons. I'm not the first or last person to judge someone based on looks, but I think the fact that we make so many snap decisions about people needs to be taken under consideration. It's becoming less important who you are and how you connect with someone. More important now is what you seem like based on the superficial, be it your attractiveness, your apparent wealth, what town you live in, or the color of your skin.

When we were passing through some run-down areas on our trip, I talked with people of all types at gas stations, restaurants, anywhere we stopped to take a break from our long drive. There was a different kind of interaction with everyone, and I formulated the manner I talked with people from the start. I found myself subconsciously choosing to avoid this person or identifying that person as 'nice'. My decisions had nothing to do with past experiences, obviously. It was all based off of appearance, from which I extrapolated characteristics that I had no right to create.

This made me realize how much we set ourselves up to prejudge other human beings. What right do we have to play the role of jury in deciding what kind of a person someone is, when we know nothing about their life?

We encourage this with sites like Facebook, where people associate you with a bunch of photos and carefully crafted statements and posts. True, people can find out your Favorite Music (really the music you think is cool to post up as your favorite) and see what your friends are saying, but how much of that is you? How much more of you cannot be represented by a profile? Only face to face can we make huge decisions about character, but the internet is tempting us to make these determinations through a computer screen.

I need to make more efforts to get to know someone as a person with wants and needs and reasoning before I file them away under a title and a final verdict. Everyone warns about 'not judging a book by its cover', but how hard is it not to? Isn't it comforting to immediately know who's ok and not ok, and then not bother with it again? Yes, it's easy, but it's not right.